Tuesday, November 30, 2010

A little moonwalking, a little rambling..

Chris and I stopped by my mom's house after school today to pick up a few of our Christmas ornaments that got mixed in with hers last year, and we were informed that my dad was up until 5am (he works second shift so it's not that crazy) playing the Michael Jackson game for Wii. I'm a lot like my dad in so many ways it's scary, so we stayed for a while and played. After one song, Chris decided it was more entertaining to watch me make a fool of myself. Mom agreed. If medical billing ever falls through, back-up dancing for MJ impersonators is definitely not something I have a future in.. Apparently coordination is a necessity. Damn.

Fluids for the day are over 150 oz, and I've got another 32 oz bottle I'm nursing. Calories are at 928 for the day, but I may be having a toasted english muffin with peanut butter (it's my favorite post-workout snack because of the fiber/protein) as a snack in a bit, IF I am hungry, which would bring me to 1118. Allan's 1200 calorie plan is not impossible when you're making your food choices work for you. I don't starve myself, I stop when I'm satisfied, I exercise 6 days a week, and I drink the water. Aside from pushing myself when it comes to exercising, none of it is hard physically, but it does take commitment. Although I've been dieting since April, I didn't get that part until October, and I'll be the first one to admit it. Once it finally clicked, I've averaged about 2 lbs a week and a lot of the mental struggles that come with all this weight are getting easier. You know, the "fat girl" voice? The voice that tells you a brownie will make you feel better, or that you earned that bread stick after all your hard work, or makes a list of excuses for every bad choice you make. I don't know if that voice will ever completely go away, but it does get a lot easier to ignore as you go along if you're consistent. Last night for example.. I made chocolate chip cookies for the boys and wasn't tempted the least bit to have one myself. I've kept junk like that out of the house for so long because my self-control just wasn't ready for that. After limiting my sugar and junk consistently now, it's nowhere near the temptation it was even a month ago. I still don't believe in having a "restricted foods list" because I know how well that's worked out for me personally in the past, but I'm learning which foods are going to trigger my cravings and I avoid them. Holy shenanigans Batman, I think common sense may finally be taking on my emotional eating habits! Who knew?

Now where was I going with all this..? Right. Commitment. There are so many things I would love to be doing other than working out. Hours upon hours of things I'd probably enjoy more. But, as a working wife and mother, sometimes I have to make choices. When it's time to make those choices- meal planning and exercise never get cut anymore. Ever. I made my health a priority, and I've committed to doing what I know is necessary to improve it. If that means I can't watch The Event? So be it. Really, I finally just deleted the 4-5 episodes that were still saved on my DVR because I'm never going to get around to watching them. The Walking Dead and Biggest Loser are it for me simply because I don't have enough time to watch every good show on TV and still get my exercise in along with everything else I've committed to (my family being number one). Down time with family and friends is still high on my list, because God knows some weeks it's the only thing that keeps me sane. Balance.. I think I'm finally learning balance.

Blogging is also pretty high on my list because, let's face it, some days are a huge struggle but knowing I'd have to confess here can sometimes tip the scale (pun intended) in my favor. I'm not used to having people believe in me, or say they're proud of me.. not even my husband (which I pointed out to him last night upon realizing this). Cheating at this point would not only be falling short of my own personal expectations for myself, but I feel like I'd be letting everyone else down as well. Nothing about that is awesome, so let's not! I know Thanksgiving has come and gone, but I wanted to let everyone that comes by and leaves words of encouragement, or threats of an ass-kicking if I start slacking off (which I love you for!!), anything- that I truly am thankful for all of you. Y'all are the best support system ever!

And I'm from Memphis, I'm allowed to say y'all ;)

3 comments:

  1. what an awesome break through. Yes... that little voice that tells me eating is fun and comforting is there for me almost all the time - but I'm winning. I stay away from certain foods, and count my calories, and drink my water... its getting easier!

    OMG.. I can't wait to play the wii!! :D Might have to get one for myself for Christmas!!

    The Walking Dead is awesome... I'm debating getting HBO in 2011 because the new BBC series "Game of Throns" is coming out and that is my FAVORITE book ever. :D that.. and Biggest loser are my TV fixes!

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  2. I am never going to be a backup dancer either! I would trip all over myself.....You are doing great, you should be proud of yourself!

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  3. Tamzin- I don't know if I'd ever count the Wii as exercise (unless it's one of those games specifically for it) but boy are my thighs sore today! They were feeling a lot better after the c25k until I tried to moonwalk myself into stardom.. We have an Xbox here at home, and the Kinect is under the tree. They're coming out with several games, like Fitness Evolve, that rated pretty high. I'll let you know once I try it for sure! I'll have to check out "Game of Throns" because that sounds good!

    BWB- I can't even tell you how many times I almost died during "Thriller!" Totally buying a gangster-hat for the "Smooth Criminal" dance ;) We can be awkward and uncoordinated together!

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