Friday, November 5, 2010

Tag!

Ahh! Christina AND The Fat Mom tagged me and it's time for a more upbeat post anyway ;) I'll answer both sets of questions in one post just to make it easier (for me at least)!

From Christina:

1. If you had to, what relative would you lock up in the shed and why?
Just one?! Definitely my dad's brother. That man has not worked since I was in elementary school, and has been living off my grandparents my entire life, and attempting to bully everyone around him. The man is a coward once you call his bluff and has avoided me since I went off on him at 13-years-old. Crazy, mouthy women are everywhere on my mother's side of the family. ;)

2. If you were a stripper, what would your stripper name be?
Slutty Charms ;)

3. If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do?
My husband and I have talked about super powers before. I kinda want to be Orgasmo.. No explanation needed I hope. It would be better than world peace, just sayin'.

4. What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?
Hmm.. So much to choose from! I'm a klutz, I speak without thinking first, you name it. One of my mother's favorite moments took place while I was in labor. Right after they gave me the good stuff, my eyes crossed and I started giggling so much I couldn't breathe. Didn't have a catheter yet, so picture a very pregnant woman laughing like a hyena while her mother, also laughing, struggles to get a bed pan underneath her wiggling ass. Yes, I peed all over my mother.

Now, to the Fat Mom's questions:

1. If you had a penis for one day, what would you do?
I'm not gonna lie, I'd pee all over everything!! No more squatting for this chick!!

2. What would your pornstar/stripper name be and why?
Still Slutty Charms, because let's face it, I'm magically delicious.

3. If you would never get caught, what illegal activity would you participate in?
I work with some older women that are convinced we're all actually soap opera characters. If I could just borrow a few shock collars, just for a day.. I'd be such a happy girl.

4. If you could change a part of your past, what would it be?
I would have skipped that third drink. You didn't ask why, so technically I don't have to divulge that part ;)

Now for my 4 folks:

1. Do you have any weird nicknames, and how did you get them?

2. What is the most retarded nightmare you remember having? (Mine- hunger games meets biggest loser. Psycho..)

3. What is one NSV (now that I know what this means, heh) that you're most proud of?

4. What is one NSV (can't help it, I'm on a roll) that you're most looking forward to?

And, go.

7 comments:

  1. The fact that your magically delicious made me laugh!

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  2. It's why so many people think us ginger kids are evil. ;)

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  3. I laughed at the magically delicious too, but "retarded" made me want to cry :(

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  4. Too funny! I totally agree about peeing on everything! That would be fun!

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  5. Awww, Lanie!! I thought it was retarded because I freaked out over mine! My husband thought I was crazy, LOL!

    Debbie- it's about time we get to mark OUR territory! :P

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