Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Apparently I'm Still a Bit Obnoxious From Steroids

I apologize, steroids and ADD don't mix so well I suppose.

First, my bra broke this week. My ONLY white one that still fit.. So I had to replace it yesterday. And OMG, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE BRA I WEAR NOW?!? I approached the dressing room attendant with 6-7 bras, in sizes ranging from 38D to 42DD (I was a 44DD pre-diet). She looked at me like I was nuts, so I felt compelled to explain that I was so lost and confused and OMG, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE I WEAR NOW! This is serious lady, just give me a room number!

I swear I felt like Goldilocks.. too tight, too big, too loose, too tight creating spillage. And then the heavens parted, and I tried on the 38DD and it fit!! I haven't worn that since before my son was born so this was a big deal to me. And apparently, almost a big deal to husband too. I told him I dropped to a 38DD, and he (in a semi-sleep induced coma) got a little anxious until I reassured him that I was smaller around, but my cup hasn't changed. I've been rubbing and framing my boobs all over the office all day. "Look at my 38's!!!"

I also begged the nurse for a sinus cocktail shot today before lunch. This particular nurse is anti-shots, so I was extra pathetic and won that battle. And then the steroids kicked in, and I was obnoxious the rest of the day. Couldn't sit still, couldn't shut up- obnoxious. I also g0t really anxious and tense, and my heart rate sped up quite a bit.. so BFF nixed my workout idea. Several coworkers are planning to hijack my chart and put a BIG note in there saying I'm not allowed to have them anymore ;) But I can breathe!! It's still a success in my book.

While I was still obnoxiously chatty (and IDK why they're complaining because USUALLY they're complaining because I'm too quiet.. Yeah, that only happens at work because I loathe most of them), I told them about this idea I had.. At my old office, we did a Biggest Loser Challenge. Almost everyone dropped out before it got interesting, but I was hoping I could talk new office into it since almost all of us really need to drop some significant weight. BFF was game, boss lady was game, and I think the others I told were too, but I was forbidden to bring it up until at least Thursday since tomorrow is our potluck. Their reasoning was that it's going to make them all feel bad to hear about it right after eating. Well, yeah. I was planning on telling them BEFORE pigging out, in hopes it would curtail some of it, but they don't want that either because then they won't enjoy it so much. I really want to see some of them getting healthier, even the one I don't like. Waiting a little longer to tell them won't kill me, or them I guess.

Right about then, I realized how frustrating trying to pay it forward (BL 10's theme) may be with this group. Oy vey. I'm still going to do it, and hope for the best. I'll let you know how well it's accepted after I go over it with them.

Speaking of Challenges.. I've all but resigned from DecGTD. Not on purpose, but between pulled muscles, and this cold from hell, I'm so far behind it's ridiculous. And the farther behind I fall on my goal, the more frustrated I get with it. I'm not quitting, I'm prioritizing. Sounds crazy since I just mentioned starting a challenge at work, but I don't really have to do anything extra for that really. Allan's SSDDDC Challenge is my priority, and I feel like trying to keep up with too many of these challenges is actually hindering me in a way. Between the Hot 100, SSDDDC, DecGTD, trying to work in C25K, and the weekly ones I've tried to do for Suzy, and all my family drama right now, I'm overwhelmed. It feels weird saying that since they're all tools to reach the same goal, but I'm crazy anal about meeting deadlines. When I look in my agenda and see that I should be at 40 miles this Friday for DecGTD, I get anxious. Much like I do when I see that January 1st is coming up, and I have 7 lbs to go to break 200.

My type A personality does not like to fail, so I'm removing these "deadlines" and focusing on the journey there instead, and Allan's Challenge is what I'll use to get me there. Like I said, I'm not quitting, I'm not taking a break, I'm just removing all the anxiety these deadlines create for me.. and it's more for my psychological benefit than anything else.

Tomorrow is my office potluck- and other than my Taco Soup, it will all be junk. Looking forward to enjoying some soup and nothing else (unless I get around to making those HG cupcakes tonight). Time to start cooking with my baby boy!!

9 comments:

  1. Oh my Lord, I am going bra shopping for a New Year's present to myself and I am probably going to do the same thing you're doing. I'm a DD too. It willl be interesting to see what I've gotten down to.

    And when I stopped letting the calendar dictate where I should be and started focusing on the day to day that was when it got a whole lot easier for me. Kudos for figuring that out too. It really is a shift in how you think about weight loss.

    My office did 4 rounds of Biggest Loser. We all chipped in cash and the company matched them. I got 2nd in the last one and earned $1100 for something I would have done anyway.

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  2. Augh!! I hate bra shopping!! I would rather have my finger nails pulled out. It's never a good day when I have to buy one!!!

    I have decided that I am not joining any challenges. I have found what works for me and every time I jump off my plan, I stall my progress. I am just going to keep focused my plan!

    Keep up the great work!!

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  3. I totally feel you on the deadlines...sometimes they work in reverse!

    I hate bra shopping - you should have gone to a place that will fit you.

    Good lick at your potluck and getting the ladies going on BL!

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  4. I need to spend a couple of hours looking for a bra size that fits. Each new one I buy is super tight and I end up wearing my old saggy one. Arrrgh.

    Good luck starting something at the new office. It would help if you could all support one another. Although, that would be one more challenge....

    Good luck and I'm glad you can breathe.

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  5. Good for you for prioritizing! Focusing on the one goal is really going to help you achieve it, without the stress! I understand about overcommitting when it all will lead to the same thing. The problem comes when I don't have time to do it all, so good for you! :)

    And I hate bra-shopping, too... :P Congrats on the new size!

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  6. I HATE bra shopping- they never fit right! My office holds a Biggest Loser type competition every year- and some people lose insane amounts of weight that I don't know how it can be even healthy to do- that quickly. I did it but didn't lose a ton- just at my normal weight! It was really awkward weighing in front of someone too!

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  7. I've not bra shopped either...but so far they all fit ok, except for having to go up on the hooks, so maybe I can go down a few numbers!

    Yay for smaller things!!

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  8. I brought up the contest today at our potluck, and it sounded like everyone was game!! Maybe with a reward at the end, they'll all stay on track, LOL!

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  9. Ugh. I hate bra shopping too. I have no idea what size I wear, but I do know that the two good ones I own right now are way too tight. I've heard of being measured, but OMG that thought just terrifies me. LOL I think a Biggest Loser Challenge sounds awesome. I hope they agree to it. Good luck! :)

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