Saturday, January 14, 2012

Weekly Menu, and Venting.

Technically, this should be my weigh-in post. But it's not. Because I haven't been able to use the bathroom since Monday. And I'm not weighing because I'm sure the scale will reflect that. If things don't start moving along by tomorrow, I'm picking up that nasty lemon-lime poop juice. Sorry for the TMI, but I'm physically miserable :(  So no weigh-in, but I do have the weekly menu! And here's the recipe Ana requested! We left off the Parmesan and used Zesty Lite Italian dressing instead.

Sunday: Pretzel Crusted Honey Mustard Chicken (7 points) with rice and carrots
Monday: Mini Deep-Dish Pizzas (3 points for 2) and salad
Tuesday: Mexican Chicken Soup (8 points)
Wednesday: Taco Pasta Salad with peppers and onions
Thursday: Baked Macaroni with broccoli
Friday: Reuben Chowder
Saturday: Bruschetta and Cheese Stuffed Chicken (7 points) with salad

So this week has been a big ol' bag of moodiness. Monday was a battle not to get all feisty at work over office crap. Wednesday, I cried at my desk a few times for no reason. Thursday, I almost deleted my Facebook and my blog. I ignored any and all attempts from my mother or nephew's mother to communicate with me until Friday. I snapped at Mr. D more than once.. And when I finally started to snap out of my mood, husband informs me that his mother requested we call her after kid is in bed.

Let me explain.. And fair warning, this is just a vent session. And it's all really silly stuff, so feel free to stop here! Just had to get it off my chest!

My SIL is crazy. I'm not sure how else to say it. She's getting married in May, and asked me to be a bridesmaid (Mr. D gets to be maid-of-honor). I don't know her that well, and we have almost nothing in common. I said yes, because what else could I say?? On our August vacation to New England, MIL and I went with her to try on dresses. First, she was a hateful wench to her mother, which made the whole outing tense for everyone. My MIL is a saint, and anyone that's mean to her is pretty much scum. Anyway..  The dress she loved for me had straps that itched like fire ants. I'm a redhead, guys. With seriously pale sensitive skin. If I RUB my skin, it turns all blotchy and red. So I mentioned that. Not in a hateful way, just mentioned that it was irritating my skin and I would need to do something with the straps if that's what we went with. And can I mention how uncomfortable it was to be trying on dresses that had my chest all hanging out with her fiance there commenting?? Yeah.

After what felt like eternity listening to her belittle my MIL, we weren't able to make a decision on the dress because they didn't have the one she loved in my size to try on (thus my chest hanging out issue). I made plans to try it on when we got back to Memphis. September rolls around, and BFF is trying on bridesmaid dresses for her friend's wedding one weekend. BFF and I are close in size, and ironically, the colors are the same for both weddings. So I call ahead to see if our store has the dress in my size and plan to tag along if they do. But they don't. Phone lady advised I check back in January because new stuff comes in then to get ready for Spring weddings. Copy that.

Now, had I realized how crazy my SIL is, I would've called then and told her what was going on. HOWEVER, since David Bridal takes about 6-8 weeks for dresses to come in after ordering, I figured there was no reason to freak out about waiting until January. And honestly, I was a little overwhelmed with mom being in the hospital twice. Clearly, I am a moron.

In early November, SIL emails me and asks about the dress. I replied same day and told her I was going to look again after Christmas. I get what sounded like a snarky response saying her dress choice is no longer available. I respond with an "AH! That's why I haven't been able to find the dress in my size!" email, and add not to worry, we have plenty of time to find a dress. And I joked about how itchy that dress was. Dude, I added a smiley.

And then, the hateful emails start. First one calls me a liar among other things, and criticizes mine and her brother's wedding. I had no idea where the animosity came from, so I let Mr. D decide how to handle it. We emailed her back and let her know we were handling the dress and were sorry we hadn't communicated better about not finding the dress, and he mentioned my mom had been in the hospital for a few weeks and was still very sick. She's not once acknowledged how sick mom was or asked about her, but she did send another more hateful, longer email. This time, I was a coward and trying to break the bond between her and her brother. Oh, and I hate her whole family. After talking about it at length, husband and I agreed that maybe me stepping out of the wedding was the best idea. My involvement seemed to be angering her for whatever reason, and we didn't want this to ruin her day. So he told her that (he thought maybe it would be easier coming from him). The NEXT email is even worse. Basically, she tried bullying me into being a bridesmaid after running me into the ground. Her ultimatum was to "play ball" or do everyone a favor and stay in Memphis. Obviously, I stuck with option 2. So I got 2 more emails..

My MIL is making herself sick over the whole thing. Especially after the last email she sent- that one was bad enough that Mr. D called and went off after reading it. She informed him that she planned on having me arrested if I attempted to come with him. He lost his temper at this point.. from the first hateful email, he's been saying he's not going to her wedding. I've tried calming him down and pointing out that the issue is between SIL and I, not him, and that he'd regret not going eventually. That's not something you can fix later. Well, she said some awful things that just crossed the line, and he said he wasn't going either. Not until she called and apologized.

It's been a month and a half, and we haven't heard from her. Mr. D doesn't think we will. We have heard from my MIL though. She's the eternal peace-maker, and is doing her best to patch things. First, she did nothing wrong. Her daughter is almost 28. That's a little old for your mother to be making your apologies for you, in my opinion. Last night, MIL had finally gotten SIL to talk to her about how she was feeling and where all of this came from. Ready for this??? Apparently, Mr. D was always "the favorite" and she's upset about that. And now that we're together (he's lived with me for almost 3 years), she feels that she's losing her brother. It probably wasn't the most tactful way to respond, but Mr. D laughed when MIL said that. He said he and his sister have never been that close, and he doesn't see how that explains her behavior towards me. We talked for over an hour, and MIL wants to either fly us up north or SIL down here so we can all talk face to face and work this out. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, and I'm not going along with that. My MIL had no part in any of this, and should not be the one trying to fix it. I have no intention of holding a grudge, none. But I do have some self-respect. When my SIL is ready to apologize, I'm ready to talk this out. Part of being an adult means owning your mistakes. I've had to swallow my pride and admit I was being a moron more than once. It's not fun, but it's the mature thing to do.

***Edited to add: This WHOLE thing could have been avoided if she had called me rather than emailed. She claims one of my replies was bitchy. Had she used the phone, she would have known from my tone that was not the case. However, she wanted a "paper trail" of her conversations with me. Is it just me, or does it sound like she knew from the initial email that this was going to get ugly??? Oy vey!

2 comments:

  1. Holy drama! I am so sorry your going through all this, so childish if you ask me. My oh my. I hope things get better for you soon hun! I hope your mom is doing ok.

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  2. Thanks soo much for the recipe! I am adding it to our January dinner menu :D

    And I agree with Sarah--Holy drama!!! That is insane. I hope things work out--tension amongst families is awful (and I know the whole "You stole my brother from me!" act quite well...it's been used on me by my SIL, at which point both my hubby and I burst out laughing.) I again echo Sarah, I hope your mom is doing okay!

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