Monday, January 31, 2011

Pace or Push?

I managed to pull my head out of my ass Sunday after being BACK at 206.2 for the weigh-in. I won't go into how sick I am of that number, because apparently I haven't been sick of it enough to push harder to get past it. Sunday was focused, and Monday morning showed a pound gone. Now it's time to keep that number from ever popping back up again.

At the end of my awesome Sunday, Mr. D decided to bake chocolate chip cookies. He also decided he loved me so much that he wanted to make me some as well. I love him so much I let him live. Sweets, especially the warm kind, are a weakness for me especially after having sugar earlier this week. One cupcake or cookie is apparently enough to undo most of my hard-won nonchalance around treats. So instead of risking ending my awesome day with a cookie, I went to bed before 10pm. Unheard of for me unless I'm sick, but the cookies smelled amazing and I was desperate. They won't bother me nearly as much after a few weeks of abstinence!

Exercise today was walking/running intervals, and I felt so good afterwards! I definitely thought I was going to burst a lung at first because I'm having sinus issues lately and can't breathe well through my nose, but it didn't really hold me back. I cut about 45 seconds off my last timed mile (about 2 weeks ago), and I'm happy with that. Still not sure I'll ever be a runner, but I do love how I feel afterwards. During is a whole different story though.. maybe one day the treadmill will forgive me for all the ugly names I've called it.

While I'm on the topic of exercise, I wanted opinions.. When you exercise, do you generally pace yourself and work on endurance, or push yourself and aim for more intense workouts? I read something earlier today about how if you "work out too hard, you will lose weight slower," and it really bothered me (mostly because it's bull). I absolutely don't think you should push yourself so hard you risk injury, but I also believe you have to push yourself outside your comfort zone in order to see real change. Mostly, I just want to know my workout wasn't a waste of time! So do you pace or push? It would be interesting to see if we take the same attitude towards our weight loss goals as we do our exercise routines. Personally, I want to get there tomorrow.

Monday's Total- 1132 calories
Breakfast: Light ww English muffin, peanut butter, small banana, and coffee with fat free half and half (305 cal)
Snack: Yoplait light yogurt (110 cal)
Lunch: 4 oz grilled b/s chicken, mixed grilled veggies, salad, raspberry salad spritzer (205 cal)
Snack: Half an apple with 1 tsp peanut butter (72 cal)
Dinner: Twice baked mexi-tato with salsa, fat free sour cream, and fat free cheddar with salad and Italian salad spritzer (440 cal) My first meatless Monday ;)
Water: 128 oz
Exercise: 2 miles running/walking intervals

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Excuse me while I get a little mushy.

I apologize for worrying anyone with that last post. I accidentally posted just the title, went back and wrote everything out, and then cancelled it because I'm trying to avoid any "Debbie Downer" posts right now. Apparently, the title stayed. I didn't realize that until opening my email this morning and seeing all the comments.. I got all snot-faced because you guys are just amazing. Thank you for that kick in the pants- I needed it!

You all know I'm on anti-moody medicine as needed and trying to avoid going back on daily stuff.. This week was one of those weeks where I kind of missed having something daily. Nothing bad happened, I just felt off all week long, starting with my brother's visit. Then snow, then car shopping (which is awesome, but unexpected), then a night out on a school night. Like I said, nothing bad happened, but it was all off my routine. My son and I are similar in that we both need a routine, and we get cranky/frustrated if we're off it for too long. Oh, the joys of ADD. Since we haven't really had a normal evening since sometime last week, I was just plain moody by Friday morning. My gym bag has been packed since Tuesday morning, but hadn't made it to the gym because of all the unexpected changes. That is probably what had me more frustrated than anything else, combined with seeing no change on the scale for our office BL contest. There wasn't any binging, but I did make a few bad choices Friday (nothing bad enough that the scale should even notice since my eating was perfect the rest of the week). I had a cookie Friday at lunch and a few bites of ice cream that night before getting mad at myself and shoving the rest in the fridge for Chris or husband if they wanted it, then starting the post I never finished.

It could have been so much worse, but I was just so frustrated with the good week, bad week pattern I seem to be stuck in lately. I feel like I'm in a rut, but getting frustrated and eating a cookie "because not eating the cookie isn't helping anyway" won't do anything but keep me stuck or worse. Consistency is what I'm missing the last few weeks. I even commented somewhere earlier this week (can't remember where at the moment) that almost any plan will work, but they all require consistency. Gotta get my groove back, now.

Sorry this is kind of short, fighting off a migraine that started Friday night. I'll be catching up on blogs as soon as I kick it. Just wanted to tell you all thank you, I couldn't ask for a better support system :)

Friday, January 28, 2011

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The day I was right and didn't rub it in.

Huh. Apparently my last post was numero 100. At least I've done something consistently, right?

So.. this is the second week in a row Zumba has been cancelled due to snow. This is Memphis, people, we don't do snow! And we certainly don't do it two Tuesdays in a row! Not only did Zumba fall through, Mr. D (who thinks he knows best about all things snow-related being a Yankee and all) wouldn't let me go to the gym because the roads would be icy by the time I was leaving. I take back every single wish I ever made for a snow day as a kid. Stupid stuff, really.

Okay, serious face now. I spoke to my mom last night, and it was weird. I've blogged before about how she's been about my "healthy crap" from time to time, and that she did lose a lot of weight a few years ago but then gained most of it back. And we all know the apple didn't fall far from her tree of craziness. Growing up (and up until the day I moved out), she was tough on me. My in-laws have always thought she was too tough, and there's definitely an argument for that, but I've never doubted (well, maybe a few times) that she did what she thought was in my best interest. I have always had much more expected of me than my two brothers (grades, chores, you name it). As a teen, I definitely resented it. Now? I'm actually grateful for it. Yes, she may have made my life a nightmare at some points, but her end goal was to make me a self-efficient, independent person.

Last night, we were discussing the issues with my younger brother because she's struggling between what she knows is the best thing for him in the long run and that maternal instinct to nurture and protect her kids (and my brother is 22, btw). After talking in circles for a while, I pointed out to her that she was hard on me, sometimes to the extreme, and I'm the only one of her three children not living with her or off of her right now. It may have been overkill, but it worked.

She called me earlier today to tell me I was right. Apparently, what I said brought on a "Dr. Phil 'aha!'' moment, and she was up all hours of the night discussing it with my dad. She agreed she was harder on me, and thinks it's because she knew what I'd be up against once I became a teen mom, and wanted to make sure I was able to stand on my own. She feels more confident that they're doing the right thing with my brother, and just sounded more optimistic in general. And she reminded me that we don't ever stop learning- even at her age :) Then she said she was proud of me. Dude, that's a big deal coming from my mom. She doesn't hug, kiss, say "I love you," nada. If you're over 10- she's not very affectionate physically or verbally.

And the weird part? She's looking into getting a membership to my gym so we can start working out together, and then grabbing a healthy dinner after and having a healthier girl's night out. My mom does not leave the house, ever. It started because my brother essentially took over her car, and then got worse as she gained weight back because she's so unhappy with herself. Either way, her leaving the house for something unnecessary is a big deal and only surpassed by the fact that she wants to hang with me when she does. Shocked.. that's me. And apparently, seeing me struggle and stick with this is helping motivate her. I was going to insert a joke here about sweating with the oldies, but I'm too happy right now!

Mr. D doesn't think the girl's night out will actually ever happen, but I told him not to jinx it. We've known for a while that my mom's gotten herself into a hole, but there was nothing anyone could do until she made the first move. I really hope she's finally going to make herself, her health, a priority again- it's something I had to learn on my own. It's weird when we end up teaching our parents, huh?

Monday, January 24, 2011

Pre-tracking?

Sent my weigh-in to Allan yesterday- 205.4 (205 since he rounds). Finally moving away from 206 in the right direction! Only a .8 loss for the week, but I'll take it.

Dinner for the entire week is planned and on the kitchen white board as usual, but I've gotten a bit lazy about planning breakfast and lunch ahead of time lately. Since the foods in Phase 4 are mostly very fresh, that's not going to work. Waiting until morning to pack a lunch for work usually leads to grabbing a lean cuisine too often. Last week I had soups I'd made ahead, so that kept me from reaching for the pre-packaged meals, and I take fruit for snacks now so none of that was pre-packaged either. This week, my goal is to have lunch packed the night before, and any prep work for breakfast done that I can do the night before too. Mornings are just a rush for us, and if I plan to be successful, planning ahead is necessary. I bought no new lean cuisines this weekend- I don't even want them in the freezer to fall back on. Planning all the meals the night before means I can also pre-track my calories, and I like that!

We have my youngest brother staying with us a few days this week, and it's been a little eye-opening. I've always known I'm a type A person.. But wow! Having someone else, even someone I grew up with, in my space that doesn't know how we roll here is making me twitchy. "Hi, my name is Cheryl, and I am SUCH a control freak!" Doesn't help that Mr. D is slacking on his to-do list, which I happen to be at the top of, because we have a guest on the couch.

I guess that means I have more time to plan tomorrow, right?!

This blows.




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Saturday, January 22, 2011

The art of running with boobs and tree stumps.

I apologize for the full-on bitch session earlier. I'm avoiding the medicine this weekend because even Mr. D has noticed I tend to care a lot less about staying on plan once I take it. Eventually I'll get the hang of it. Until then, thank you for putting up with me! :)

I did hit the treadmill today when I picked up Chris from my parent's house, and timed my first mile, which is something I've never really done before- 15:48. I have no idea where that ranks, and honestly couldn't care less. I'm competing against no one, aside from fat-me, and that's mostly a mental war over whether to push myself harder or just get by with the minimum. Some days when I do cardio, I get on and just go for whatever time I set as my goal for the day. Other days, like today, I set my goal for 30 minutes.. and less than 5 minutes in, I decide to push just to see. I started wondering if I could do some running intervals, mostly to see if I could. I haven't tried any running since I pulled that muscle in December (or whatever it was), but want to get back to it. So I did, and noted what time I hit my first mile at and kept going until I hit 2 miles around 30 minutes. Yes, I'm slow- I blame genetics for my short legs, or more accurately, tree stumps. I got my 30 minutes in, as planned, but didn't get off. I did an extra mile, continuing the running intervals although they did slow a bit. I felt really good afterwards for pushing myself.

Happy to report no knee, ankle, or leg pain of any sort, although I did have some hip pain (I was going to describe it as where my leg meets groin- but google is calling it hip pain, so...) which let up a lot after stretching. Aside from that- pain free! Even my chest caused no issue today- thank you, new sports bra! I'm sorry, but running with DD's takes skill. And conquering it totally makes up for the tree-stumps for legs thing because I can run and keep the awesome boobs.

That's all I've got for today.. Looking forward to weigh-in tomorrow- calories, water, and exercise has been on target since rejoining Phase 4!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Kettlebell- not to be confused with kettle corn.

First, a big hug and thank you to everyone that commented yesterday.. Right now, there's a lot of extra stress from my family and I have no control over any of it, I can't change/fix any of it, and I let it get to me. I know better, and I'll do better at keeping Debbie Downer at bay.

Now, yesterday I had planned to use my new kettlebell and Bob Harper's DVD that I bought to go with it but, after dealing with my asshat scale, chose to skip it in the morning. By the time I got home from work last night, I had such a headache (I have a history of migraines, but this was the first I've had in a while) and wasn't sure I'd be able to work out at all. After dinner, medicine, and tons of water, it started to let up so I popped the DVD in. Less than 10 minutes in, I had to stop because the higher my heart rate went, the more my head throbbed. I was more than a little bummed, so I waited. Half an hour later, I tried again and made it about 40 minutes in before I had to stop again- mostly because my whole body felt like jello! I want to go through the entire workout again (it's 50 minutes long so most of what I missed was a cool down) before really making a decision, but I think I prefer Jillian's 30 Day Shred. Bob's Kettlebell DVD is a little repetitive- though, so is Jillian's, but it doesn't feel so bad because it's a shorter workout. There was also this one move that I just could not do- scaling. Basically, you're walking yourself across the room in push-up position. There are also TONS of squats throughout the workout, and I'm pretty much sore in that area constantly now, so the verdict today is: ouch.

I will say this.. After Bob's crazy scaling exercise, I won't be complaining about the closed grip push-ups anymore ;)

On another note, someone recently asked when I would be taking a January progress photo. Honestly, I don't know if there will be one for January because I'm in pretty much the exact same place I was in December. The next one will be taken after I break 200, whether I can see a difference or not.

Tonight is Zumba, let's hope I can still move tomorrow morning!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, January 17, 2011

206.2

Yesterday should have been weigh-in, so why no post from me? Because it was awful, and I had every intention of just skipping it this week. The plan was to take a few days to get my head back in the game, get focused, and get it back off without ever talking about it. Obviously, I fessed up to my accountability partner and BFF, but why hash it out again on my blog?

Because if I don't, what's the point in keeping this blog?

So, here it is.. The post where I tell you I fell flat on my face this weekend. According to the scale, I gained 3.2 lbs between Friday and Monday morning. Now, I did not eat anywhere near the 10,500 calories needed to add over 3 lbs of fat, but I did go over on date night (1875) and again Sunday night (1683). Two meals, both loaded with sodium, combined with not enough water, my TOM and voilà! A gain. A very significant gain. I exercised and ate right all week, and here I am again- 206 is exactly where I got stuck at in December.

When I stepped on the scale this morning and saw that number, I cried. I had gotten up early because yesterday I bought a kettle bell and Bob Harper's DVD to go with it, and wanted to get my workout in early. Instead, I thought "well, screw it then," and went straight back to bed. I cannot tell you just how awful my mood has been for most of the weekend, and how tempting it was right then to just throw in the towel. Thoughts like "I'm never going to see 199 at this rate anyway" crept in, and, well you know where I'm going with this I guess.

I woke up late, and was already late for work, but I decided to make breakfast (screw it, I'm already late, right?). I had my coffee, a poached egg, half a light English muffin, a Clementine, and a glass of light soy milk. Time to practice what I preach (er, comment?). My head is still full of negative thoughts, but that won't stop me from at least going through the motions until I get my focus back. Once I realized I wasn't quitting, I realized how much easier it was to focus while I was still part of Allan's challenge. After emailing back and forth with him this morning, I'm back in Phase 4. For the most part, I never quit following it though I did allow myself more flexibility (which worked for all of a week, btw). I tried it my way for 2 weeks, and we all see how well THAT worked out!

So, here's to kissing 206 goodbye permanently!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Date Night Disaster

Last night was date night, but our son tagged along this week. He has a standing Friday night date with his Mimi, but she was sick this week. We still aren't sure if she's making herself sick from nerves, or has caught a bug so we're staying away! The plan (prior to finding out Mimi was sick) was steak and salad at home followed by a night out. I didn't leave work until 5:30, but Mr. D was off and in charge of dinner for the night.. or so I thought. I'd already taken my first Xanax at work earlier in the day, so after several phone calls regarding what was for dinner, I lost my temper and just hung up.

Just a little background first.. I do all of our meal planning, grocery shopping, and the majority of the cooking. He's responsible for 2 meals a week on his days off, and I do the rest though he does help with clean-up on the days we both work. I'm also working around some extremely picky eaters- Mr. D will not eat any kind of means, or any cooked veggies. Chris does eat a lot of cooked veggies, but won't eat the ones Mr. D will most of the time. Chris is also supposed to be on a high calorie diet for now, while I'm on a low calorie diet. Meal planning, my friends, is a nightmare. I love trying new recipes (and got several new books for Christmas), but am very limited between the 2 of them. I've taken to making the things I love that they won't eat (mmm, taco soup) and freezing some of it or sharing it with BFF at work so I don't end up tossing a lot out.

So, last night I was really looking forward to just coming home from work and having everything taken care of for once- I didn't care what he cooked, whether we went out, whatever. You know, like with the "easy" button? Well, it obviously didn't work out that way. He did decide that we were going out, but where was a huge deal I guess. At one point I changed into pj pants (did I mention that my TOM hit hard yesterday too? Like critical levels?) and just said screw it. After about an hour of arguing, we eventually headed out. I had pasta, and dessert. I ended the day at 1875 calories- well over my 1200. I still got in all my fluids and 8 fruits/veggies, but the meal was very high sodium. By the time we got to dinner, I wasn't anxious anymore, but the munchies I've been fighting all week did get the best of me. I also noticed that once I've taken the Xanax, I just don't care about what I'm eating. I don't care about too much, honestly. Considering the little concern I had about the whole thing, it could have been so much worse. I hadn't noticed this before (I'd only taken it once before and it was right before bed), so it's something I'm really going to need to monitor better. As far as helping with the anxiety/depression though, I'm liking the medicine so far.

Calories for the week
Sunday: 1269
Monday: 1185
Tuesday: 1172
Wednesday: 1106
Thursday: 1100
Friday: 1875

Exercise
Strength: 3 days
Cardio: 4 days (after I finish today's workout)

After even more bickering with the husband this morning, I didn't make it to the gym before he left for work so I'm heading to my mom's and will use her treadmill to get in today's cardio. I need to stop by there anyway, so may as well take advantage of their home gym. Normally I wouldn't have time to head over there for this on a Saturday since it's usually cleaning and errands day, but after this morning, I'm saving it for tomorrow so Mr. D can be included.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

203

Finally remembered to bring my scale home from work last night so I could weigh-in. It's later in the week than usual, but I still wanted to see where I was after being stuck between 205-206 for a few weeks. The results??

203!!!

First, this is my lowest ever in years! I'm no longer letting the proximity to 199 get to me, but I have a feeling I will see it before the end of January. Second, it's confirmation that I made the right choice for me concerning Phase 4, and following Dr. H and BFF's suggestions to "shake it up." Increasing my calories for a "treat meal" was, admittedly, a little scary after following 1200 calories religiously since November. Letting go (a little) and relaxing seems to have helped my body let go and relax too resulting in a 2.8 lb loss two days before I should start my TOM. Suck it, hormones.




I downloaded the My Fitness Pal app for the iPhone yesterday, and I love it so far. I've been playing with apps for calorie tracking this week, and I'll be sticking with this one. It's easier to use than the others I've tried. Ironically, it set my daily calories at 1200! But then, when I came in only 28 calories under, it said I was eating too little. Picky, picky.. My username is cdurrell85 if anyone else uses it and would like to send a friend request.

In other news, I received an award from Patrick at Responsibility 199- thank you so much!! I can't (or don't know how to) link things on my phone, so I'll be posting that later tonight! Thank you again, Patrick!!

Oh, and Mr. D has decided to start blogging! He's not planning to do any weight-loss blogging (that I'm aware of), but thought I'd share that with you guys:

www.fromthedeskofd.blogspot.com

And since I'm talking about husband anyway, he was a whole lot of awesome last night. With TOM looming, and me having the serious munchies, he started to bake cookies last night while we were watching BL11 (is anyone else getting annoyed at the minimal airtime of the unknowns?). I MAY have made a face and whined a little about how tempting that was going to be for me, but also said I didn't want to be unfair and ask him who is NOT obese to not have something he wanted just because I'm on a diet. You know what he did? Popped some light popcorn for us to share instead. He does that kind of thing a lot now, so I try not to begrudge him when he wants stuff like TJ's. So yes, Mr. D- I notice and I appreciate it more than you know.

Before it gets too mushy.. I did my second strength day last night, and my butt is sore. That's all. Just didn't want to end on a mushy note ;)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, January 10, 2011

Snow, Smoothies, and Snacking.

We live in Memphis so as expected, the 2 inches of snow we got last night has essentially shut the entire city down. Chris' school and work closed, AND since we're both getting over being sick, we can't exactly go out and enjoy the snow. We've been playing video games and watching "Despicable Me" all day, much like the last 2 days except Mr. D is here too. That means I've heard all about how silly we're all acting over 2 inches of snow.. Yankee ;) My only real concern is that we live on the second floor in our apartment building, and those stairs are sure to be icy in the morning. Since BFF's mom fell on ice and has spent almost a month in rehab after surgery to fix her leg.. let's say I'm a little more cautious than I used to be.

Not sure I mentioned this before, but Mr. D bought me a new blender called the Ninja for Christmas. Well, sorta for Christmas. I wouldn't let him wrap it and put it under the tree because I don't want him getting in the habit of buying me cooking utensils or cleaning supplies for Christmas, heh. He's made iced coffee with it a few times, but today we made our first fruit smoothies. 3 cups strawberries, 1 large banana, 1 1/2 cups fat free yogurt, and a few packets of sweetener made 3 smoothies. We didn't really have a recipe, just threw stuff in there until it tasted right. The best part- Chris actually liked it! He's such a picky eater, especially over fruits (he doesn't like anything but bananas for the most part), so a smoothie pumping him full of over 2 servings of fruit has me smiling. We have peaches, strawberries, mixed berries, a pomegranate, and bananas- so if anyone has any really good suggestions on what to mix it with, I'd really appreciate it!

On the exercise front.. Oh boy. I tried again this morning using My Shape for Kinect and lasted about 20 minutes before all of the moving around sent me running for the bathroom. The congestion and cough is almost completely gone, but I'm still having weird stomach issues of the gross kind. If the nausea isn't gone by tomorrow morning, I may have to skip Zumba class, assuming it isn't cancelled for the BLIZZARD already!

On the eating front, things have been okay. I swear, if Chris hadn't been home, it probably would have been worse. I made that pot of homemade chicken noodle soup (mine comes to about 230 calories per 2 cups) because he needed it too, and I've eaten off that quite a bit. Last night I made a bad call and skipped dinner, getting a small snack instead. By the time Mr. D was home and ready for dinner, I was starving too, so ended up eating at about 9 with him- way past my 7pm time limit I'm aiming for. I ended the day with 1269 calories, almost 100 oz of water, and several cups of coffee (which helped with the junk in my chest). Not awful, but I need to do better with my night time eating. I seem to go through phases when it's tougher. And now that I've typed that, I'm wondering if it's coinciding with my TOM, since that's due at the end of this week. Hmm. Anyone else snack more around theirs? I don't use mine as a free pass to eat whatever I'm craving, and have even seen losses afterwards, but it is harder to stay on track.

Stupid hormones.


Sunday, January 9, 2011

Mini-vent, no weigh-in, and BL office recap.

First, a mini-vent session. This has been on my mind all week since the visit with Dr. H. Maybe I'm a little sensitive to it given that I'm already prone to depression and anxiety, but it makes my heart ache whenever I read something negative about another blogger. Yes, everyone is entitled to freedom of speech but I'm sure there are many more productive ways to use that freedom aside from running each other into the ground. Here's a novel idea.. next time you read something that upsets you- go for a walk, grab the weights, pop in a workout DVD. That's MUCH more productive and will make you feel a whole lot better than ranting about what someone you've never met said on the internet. And, end vent.

Today is normally weigh-in day. However, in my rush to get home and prepare for company, I left my scale at work. I've got a reminder in my agenda to bring it home Monday, and I'll weigh Tuesday morning and post that number just to know where I stand. I can honestly say I'm not worried about it right now. I completely forgot to recap our first BL office challenge, fighting off the plague and all. We had 2 people out sick, but with those that weighed, I'm in third place right now with 3 lbs lost between Monday and Friday. One woman lost almost 6 lbs! We did have one that gained, but she's only 10 lbs away from a healthy BMI. She ate great all week, but she doesn't want to track her food.. so I don't know what happened there. I don't want to use this weigh-in for my own tracking purposes because I weigh naked at home, and obviously that's not the case at work! It was 1 lb (WITH clothes on and water in me) down from my weight on Sunday, which means I owe Dr. H a big hug and thank you because this means I'm probably past this plateau- it was my lowest weight so far (205). I know there's a lot of controversy in the weight-loss world regarding "treat meals" or increasing your calories every now and again to shake things up- but Dr. H suggested it, I tried it, and it seems to have worked for me. Jackie Warner even encourages it in her book, though she suggests 2 treat meals weekly after eating completely clean Monday-Friday. I'm open to increasing my calories once a week or once every other week if needed. Her advice was not a green light to eat whatever I want one day a week, I have to be smart about it.

Plague update: I can breathe a little today, thanks to Vick's being smeared under my nose, in my nose, on my chest, etc all night. Chris has a lot of junk in his chest (I can not get this kid to put some REAL effort into blowing his nose!) but his head is less gunky. We both slept better, thanks Vick's plug-ins, and are staying in our PJ's all day long. I'm crossing my fingers that Memphis does actually get hit with snow tonight and we get an extra day home. Also, did manage 25 minutes of Zumba last night before I had to stop. Today is strength, and that should be a little easier breathing-wise. We have our Zumba class Tuesday, unless snow is still hanging around then, so I have to get over this quick!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Quick update between nose-blowing.

Seems my cold has come back for round 2, and meaner than before. OR I've caught the flu from my son and it's less-severe because I had my flu shot. Either way, kill me now. I'll take a stomach bug over a head cold any day. Not being able to breathe out of my nose is cruel and unusual punishment. Currently making myself some homemade chicken noodle soup full of carrots and celery, fat free chicken broth, whole wheat egg noodles.. you get the idea. No sick days from healthy eating. There may, however, be sick days from exercise since I cannot breathe. I'm popping Zumba in later, we'll see how far I make it.

I did, however, succumb to a cupcake last night. We had friends visiting that we haven't seen since November that share my passion for Muddy's cupcakes (it's karma since I was talking about them at Fat Mom's blog the other day). First, I made spaghetti and French bread for dinner. Everyone else had whole wheat noodles while I had a small amount of sauce with my spaghetti squash (still trying to get used to that texture). They brought me a Prozac, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. And, can I say, how ironic is that after talking Dr. H out of anti-depressants on Monday? Anywho, I estimated the cupcake was 300-350 (and I'm estimating high to be on the safe side) and I was still under my 1200 calories for the day. Thank you, spaghetti squash! Glad I didn't waste those calories on noodles. Even though the cupcake fit into my budget, this will not become a habit. I know me, and I know I have a sweet tooth. A well planned and budgeted treat occasionally is fine, but once a week is not occasionally.

We had a blast with the friends, but I'm also glad to have my quiet house back with the being sick and all. Tine for soup and more medicine!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

A visit with Dr. H and other stuff.

Been a few days, here goes.

Monday was the appointment with Dr. H I've been dreading. Unfortunately, Google is all too accessible. It makes me think I know things... like, when to stop taking prescribed medications. We tried a few, the side effects were too much, so I quit. I thought I was handling it just fine on my own, but she disagreed. First, she made me think we were good. She was happy with the weight loss (given all the holidays) and thrilled when she saw I was no longer pre-hypertensive. I went from 138/91 to 112/70- who knew diet and exercise could perform such miracles, eh? ;)

Then she started in on the anxiety/depression questions. Except she disguises them- you don't realize she's digging because she's asking normal stuff like, "How the diet's going... Really? You think you've hit a plateau?" She throws in several suggestions here, and some will absolutely not work with Phase 4. I tell her about Phase 4. She's cool with the water, she's not cool with 1200 calories day in and day out especially given the possible plateau. She suggests change, with calories and exercise routines. That's when I have my mini-breakdown right in the exam room. I say focused, she say's borderline obsessed. She lets me off without going back on a daily medicine- for now- but she insists on an as-needed medicine. If I have to refill it too soon, and she'll know because she's Dr. H, back to daily medicine it is.

So. I took the last few days to bounce some ideas off my BFF and another blogger-buddy, and reevaluate my goals. I really feel like I need the added accountability of another person, but I need it from someone with similar end goals. As Dr. H pointed out, I'm getting way too focused on a number. BFF completely agreed when I told her about the appointment (which, admittedly, I hadn't planned on telling anyone- but she brought up the subject and it just all poured out).

Now where does all of this leave me? Well, I dropped out of Phase 4 for starters. I think Allan's challenges have been wonderful and very eye-opening, and I wish all of the challengers success over the next few months. However, I no longer think it's the place for me although I did enjoy the accountability. I have my BFF for a lot of the dieting stuff (she lost almost 5lbs this week!!), and I've sought out an accountability partner with similar health and fitness goals to mine. While a smaller number on the scale is still a wonderful thing, we're both striving for overall improved health and physical fitness so it will be awesome having someone to push me, and vice versa.

I don't have a specific plan yet, though I'll be keeping the water amounts and the calories (although I'll be giving myself a little more flexibility than the 1200 day in and day out- one of Dr. H's suggestions to get past the plateau). Cardio will be 5 days a week, strength 3 days a week. I already follow what weight watchers calls the "good health guidelines" for the most part, but I'll be tweaking it some. One thing I'm looking at right now is using Spark People for tracking purposes. They have an app for the iPhone, which I like since I've been using my phone for tracking since the beginning. They also have the fitness section and I really loved the demo's for exercises. I know a lot of the basics, but let's be honest.. there are too many to memorize for us newbies! For those that use it- let me know what you love/hate about it!

So that's where I'm at right now. Getting back to the basics, focusing on my overall health instead of just the number on the scale, and enjoying the changes I'm making.

On a side note, Zumba was a blast Tuesday night with Steph. We haven't been since August, and I forgot how much I loved the energy you get from a class vs the DVDs. It's not the same at all-Tuesday nights are reserved for Zumba once again. And then I caught a stomach bug Wednesday. And tomorrow is the first weigh-in for our Biggest Loser contest at work, which I can almost say I'm not anxious about. Almost. I'll get there though.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Phase 4, BL at work, BFF, and MUSHROOMS?!

Alrighty then.. so, some of us freaked out a little unnecessarily over Phase 4 I suppose. Okay, fine, it was me. It doesn't look like the food is changing, aside from 1200 calories being the MAX, no longer an option. It's doable but does require planning ahead. The water has been easy, 1200 calories has been easy for the most part, and the exercise- at least this week- will be easy.

Monday: Day 4 elliptical intervals + 10 minute walk (per packet)
Tuesday: Day 5 elliptical intervals + sculpting (per packet) + 200 sit-ups program (Week 3)
Wednesday: Day 6 elliptical intervals + 10 minute walk
Thursday: Day 7 elliptical intervals + sculpting + sit-ups program
Friday: Day 8 elliptical intervals
Saturday: Day 9 elliptical intervals + 10 minute walk
Sunday: Day 10 elliptical intervals + sculpting + sit-ups program

Er, well, the walking will be easy! Now, this is just the PLAN for the week. I've never actually written out my plans prior to now, but I'll be making a habit out of it. Everything is in my agenda, reps and all. The elliptical intervals are the only area I may possibly go off plan should things come up during the week. It happens, especially for us moms (Chris has still been running a fever today and will be home from school tomorrow). Aside from something legit getting in the way, and no, I'm tired and don't wanna is NOT legit, I'll do all that I can to stick to the schedule.

On top of all the new exercise starting this week, so is my office Biggest Loser Challenge! I'll be taking my scale in tomorrow for everyone to weigh-in. We're having a $10 registration fee and a $1 penalty fee for each pound gained during the challenge. We'll weigh-in each Friday morning, March 25th will be the final one. I'm excited, and really hopeful that everyone's going to stick with it since almost the entire office is doing it together. Ironically, I got a message from another friend (boss lady) I work with asking for the link to my blog while writing this. She, BFF (also coworker), and Mr. D are the only folks I know in real life that have that. I've thought about sharing it more, but not sure I'm ready yet. I don't want to start unconsciously editing my writing, you know?

On another note, my BFF blogged for the first time since September- twice! She's engaged, and in the midst of wedding planning now that she has some time finally. She may kill me tomorrow, but I'm doing it anyway ;) A direct quote from the most recent post: "So next I was worried about my diet. *IF* I lose 2 pounds a week, I'll be at goal for my wedding. No pressure there right?" I've mentioned this before- she's the one that helped me get my head in the game before my wedding. She was my diet-buddy. And then, with all she's gone through lately, she fell off the wagon and is getting back on now. If you have a minute, please stop by and offer her a little encouragement?? I'm going to kick her butt for that IF part!

And I tried mushrooms in my omelet today.. I'm not a fan of mushrooms. My mom used to dice them up into microscopic pieces for her spaghetti sauce so I wouldn't know they were there. I bought some canned mushrooms weeks ago with the intention of doing that, but I keep putting it off, because ew? Well, I want to eat cleaner this year (yes, I know they were canned- thank you captain obvious). That's going to require trying more fruits and veggies- like mushrooms. I'm starting off slow, with canned mushrooms diced up into smaller than microscopic pieces in my omelets, along with the green pepper, spinach, ham, and ff cream cheese. I couldn't even tell they were there. Take that, mushrooms.

W.I.D.T.H. and a NSV

First.. I've gotta share this. Day 3 of intervals on the elliptical, and during my first 2 minute speed interval, I hit 7 mph- and held it there for the full 2 minutes. What?!?! I almost fell off when I saw that, and wanted to shout, "DUDE!!! Did you seeeee meeeee?!?!" Thankfully, I'm not THAT impulsive. I was impressed with just holding at 6mph on the first 2 days of intervals honestly. By the time I'm on the fourth, and final, interval- my muscles are jello. I didn't hit 7 mph again this morning, but I'm still psyched knowing that this fat girl is capable of it. Could this be a NSV? Me thinks yes. Totally overshadows the fact that I didn't lose this week (that 1lb was gone this morning though- no gain either).

Annnddd... I found this at Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit this morning, and absolutely loved the concept. We all spend so much time and energy on WHAT we're doing to get healthier, that sometimes we forget about WHY we started this journey in the first place. The really important why's. For me, looking good in a bathing suit is an awesome "why" but it's not THE "why."

These reasons are Why I Do This Here:
Why do YOU do this??

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Good Morning 2011!

Home from another morning workout at the gym.. Not sure I'll be able to do this during the week, but I'm really digging this. Both yesterday and today, I went before coffee, breakfast, everything (other than a quick post). I loved having it out of the way instead of worrying about whether I would have time to fit it in later in the evening. I'll be making breakfast in a few since my stomach can be heard from across the room apparently. Omelets with ham, green pepper, and spinach are on the menu, for me at least.

I mentioned earlier this week that I was reading Jackie's book, and that the exercise routines looked a bit scary. Well, I sorta started her 14 day thing that you're supposed to do along with the 14 days of detox foods. It's all cardio, strength doesn't get added until after the 14 days in the book. She gives you several options depending on what your favorite piece of equipment is (mine being the elliptical because of my knee). For the elliptical, this is how it's broken down:

2 minute: Ramp 1-5, Speed 170 strides per min. (mine doesn't show strides, but I averaged 6mph)
2 minute: Ramp MAXED, no set speed. (3.3 was hard!)
1 minute: Ramp 1-5, speed comfortable (4mph for me)
Repeat 3x

I also threw a quick warm-up and cool down in there. It was barely 30 minutes each session, but I was dripping with sweat both times. There's something to this intervals stuff! My body definitely felt a difference, we'll see if the scale reflects it later.

Now, on to the bad news. I don't know what's going on with my weight this week. Up 2, down 2, up 1 now. It's not TOM, I've been somewhat regular this week (I've tried not to rely on fiber bars this week), and I don't think it's sodium. Last night could have been a disaster. But I ate very light (one small meal around 1 pm since we woke up late) and I think I did great at dinner. It was mostly party foods, but I had a lot of carrots along with smaller portions of the junk. I went over my 1200 for the day, but was still under the 1540 (goal x 11). I did not consume enough to show a gain, not even if I miscalculated. I had almost 96 oz in just water (which is, admittedly, low for me since I average 150) but I had a few cups of coffee as well. Getting back into my exercise routine seems to be having the opposite effect this week. I have the rest of today left before weigh-in tomorrow, so I'll make the best of it. Omelet for breakfast, salad with chicken and veggies for lunch, and greek style scampi with more salad for dinner. I've got fruit here for snacks if needed. Lots of cleaning on the menu, along with some time on the kinect if Chris is feeling better. Poor baby woke up feeling sick this morning, so he's resting on the couch with his cartoons for now.

Whatever happens on the scale tomorrow, I'm okay with it. I was on plan all week, one day over 1200, and have started adding my exercise back in. If the scale doesn't reflect what I've done, so be it. No getting upset, no feelings of guilt or failure, no obsessing. I'll record it, and move on, and pray that I'm not hitting the "P word." If that's indeed what's happening, I bet Phase 4 will shake it up enough to get past it!

It's officially been 2011 for over 10 hours now.. Let's plan to do all that is necessary to NOT be making the same promises and resolutions a year from now!